Friday, November 3, 2023
HomeSportsAs expected, Alabama QB Bryce Young measures in at under 6-feet

As expected, Alabama QB Bryce Young measures in at under 6-feet

Alabama quarterback Bryce Young speaks to the media during the NFL Combine.

Alabama quarterback Bryce Young speaks to the media during the NFL Combine.
Photo: Michael Hickey (Getty Images)

The question of the combine, draft, decade, football writ large is if smaller quarterbacks can make it in the NFL. Bryce Young’s literal judgment day arrived Saturday and came in at 5-foot-10 ⅛ inch, 204 pounds. Shorter QBs like Drew Brees, Russell Wilson, and Kyler Murray have all performed at MVP levels during their careers, two of the three have rings, and Brees is a two-time offensive player of the year. Hell, even Jeff Garcia had a sizable cup of coffee in the league.

The position is as much about skill and timing as it is about preservation. Slide, go down, throw it away, take the cheese. We laud Tom Brady because he was never athletic, but always climbed the pocket or side-stepped the rush. His game was never dependent on uber athleticism, which is why he was able to be in our lives for way too long. Brees also had a lengthy career by any metric, and was able to be effective up until, and maybe a year after, he couldn’t throw anymore.

Young is mobile, but doesn’t use it as a crutch, and one of his best abilities is pocket presence. He stole this past season’s game against Texas with a swivel of the hips and a nice little scramble, but will he be able to do that against NFL defensive linemen? Nolan Smith, the pass rusher out of Georgia, ran a 4.39 40 at the combine a couple days ago, and that’s faster than a lot of wide receivers.

One of the keys to Young having a successful career, like any quarterback, is avoiding decapitation. Bigger guys like Josh Allen — whoa-my-god, why are you still reading this? What am I, the 18 millionth sports person to say this?

Bryce Young is still getting drafted in the top 3

Let’s be honest for a second. Young is getting drafted, probably in the top three if not first overall by whoever takes the Chicago Bears’ pick off their hands. This is manufactured bullshit to the highest degree. I respect it, because most of this job is bullshitting and overreacting to men playing children’s games, but that just means I’m keenly aware of bullshit when I read, hear, see, taste, touch, and smell it.

The “Is Young big enough?” debate reeks like your crunchy neighbor’s compost pile, and, again, like Bryce, I’m repeating myself: We will get to see whether he’s able to last in this league. It’s not as if he’s going to be in the XFL because I’m taller than him (and I’m not even six feet tall).

But, Sean, Young could forever change the future of an NFL franchise and a metropolis, which means jobs, revenue, a better sense of community for a city.

And… ? It’s 2023. People spent the past couple years vacating cities, and (I’m assuming because I left a remote area for a city in the past 16 months) are wondering why in the hell they would ever go back. Jeff Bezos can get you anything in two days. Sunday Ticket is moving to YouTube. You don’t need DirectTV or a sports bar anymore, and it’s probably for the best because Frank wept profusely at B-Dubs last year during multiple Jacksonville losses, and I’m sick of being publicly embarrassed.

GOD DAMMITTTTTTT!!!! *Incoherent screams* *A man clutches his chest* *A thud*

Twenty minutes later

What happened? Where am I? Am I in heaven? No? Still sitting in front of a Google doc… Fuck my life. This must be hell.



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